March Madness is finally here! Not only do we have one of the world’s greatest tournaments to keep us from our daily work activities for the next few weeks, college football spring practices are revving up around the country.
It truly is a glorious month for college sports fans.
While we’re all excited about the return of football, our heads and our hearts are with the NCAA tournament. So, in honor of that and the return of college football, we’re merging them to create our own athletic monster.
Today, we bring you our college basketball All-Star teams featuring college football players.
We are setting it up like the NBA All-Star format, as well. The two captains for this fictitious exercise are Stanford running back Bryce Love* and UCF quarterback McKenzie Milton*, who finished second and eighth in last year’s Heisman Trophy race, respectively.
*This is where we’re required to mention that Love and Milton aren’t actually picking these teams. They’re merely serving as LeBron- and Steph-style stand-ins.
Love: No. 1 Clemson DT Dexter Lawrence
Breakdown: Big Dex is 6-foot-4, 340 pounds, but he moves like a linebacker in the trenches with just 18 percent body fat. He might be the No. 1 pick in next year’s NFL draft, and there’s no way anyone is stopping him in the paint. Who in their right mind would challenge all that size, power and athleticism?
Milton: Houston DT Ed Oliver
Breakdown: I see your behemoth and raise you arguably the biggest freak in the country — Ed Oliver. He’s so good he has already announced he’s going pro next year after averaging 1.6 tackles for loss in his 25 career games. He won the Outland Trophy as the nation’s best interior lineman and I see him as a punishing Draymond Green-type with the attitude to match his 6-foot-3, 290-pound frame.
Love: Ole Miss WR A.J. Brown
Breakdown: I’m just not sure there’s a better athlete at receiver than A.J. Even at 6-foot-1, he can pound with all his 225 pounds. He can be a slasher or set up as a guard with his speed, too. Oh, and those hands caught 104 passes for 1,664 yards and 13 touchdowns in just two years, which I can only assume means he won’t drop any of those quick passes through the lane.
Milton: Arizona QB Khalil Tate
Breakdown: You want to talk about a slasher? Tater Tot could run circles around and through both of these teams for 60 minutes and never get tired. He averaged 128.3 rushing yards a game last year, so you better hustle back on defense.
Love: Clemson DL Christian Wilkins
Breakdown: Wilkins is 6-foot-4, 300 pounds, but he did the splits effortlessly on national TV a couple of years ago. He’s a sideline-to-sideline defensive lineman with almost 200 tackles in three years. This frontcourt is L-O-A-D-E-D and ready to bring the pain.
Milton: Ohio State DE Chase Young
Breakdown: Honestly, I might be more excited about this pick than any other. This guy is 6-foot-5, 265 pounds and had 3.5 sacks as a true freshman. He has the wingspan of a pterosaur, but the strength and quickness of a saber-toothed tiger. The point is, get used to his name.
Love: Arizona State WR N’Keal Harry
Breakdown: Chase is a beast, but N’Keal gives me another athletic wing (6-4, 216 pounds, what?!) with the ability to dart in and out of the lane, while still leaving room for a sweet jump shot after shaking one of your unsuspecting defenders to the floor.
Milton: Oregon QB Justin Herbert
Breakdown: We already know that Herbert is an athletic freak — and the man has all the size at 6-foot-6, 231 pounds — but he also has guts. Need I remind you that he dunked on former Ducks coach Willie Taggart last year and didn’t even crack a smile after? Cold. Blooded.
Love: West Virginia QB Will Grier
Breakdown: Not a lot of quarterbacks are as tough or as rugged as Will. I just envision him diving all over the floor, playing defense in everyone’s grill, hurling dimes all day.
Milton: Alabama DL Raekwon Davis
Breakdown: I can’t believe we went this long without picking an Alabama player. This is a swing for the fences with another nimble, big-bodied bruiser to give my front court even more size and terror — all 6-foot-7 and 308 pounds of it.
Love: Ohio State DE Nick Bosa
Breakdown: Steal of the draft right here. Eleven picks before we got to a guy who had 16.5 tackles for loss, 8.5 sacks and can probably hurdle a hatchback with me sitting on top of it in a single bound? Yessir!
Milton: Wisconsin RB Jonathan Taylor
Breakdown: The kid can fly, almost had 2,000 yards as a freshman and is built like a mini-tank. He’ll be a guard who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and can still make defenders dizzy.
Love: Florida State RB Cam Akers
Breakdown: Another young talent who is going to be an absolute star. He crossed 1,000 yards as a frosh and he’ll be crossing people over next.
Milton: Notre Dame CB Julian Love
Breakdown: First defensive back off the board and it’s someone who defended 23 passes last year. Size ain’t great for the floor, but he’s a lockdown defender with a hint of the spectacular in him.
Love: LSU CB Andraez “Greedy” Williams
Breakdown: Um, you want lock-down? He actually goes by “Greedy!” My dude snatched six interceptions while defending 17 passes as a true freshman last year.
Milton: West Virginia WR David Sills V
Breakdown: A quarterback’s — and point guard’s — dream. He’s 6-foot-4, had nearly 1,000 yards last year and he caught 18 touchdowns. Alley-oops all day.
Love: LSU LB Devin White
Breakdown: I love this sideline-to-sideline linebacker who will probably get into foul trouble early, but he’ll also send a message or two.
Milton: Alabama LB Dylan Moses
Breakdown: I’m with you on grabbing a rangy, physical player to crash through the lane and on the boards. Hopefully Dylan’s foot is OK after a late-season injury, because he’s a dude.
Love: Georgia TE Isaac Nauta
Breakdown: With Love’s last pick he’s getting size (6-foot-4, 256) in a mismatch tight end. Nauta has speed, hands and agility. Give him the ball, let him work.
Milton: USC S Marvell Tell III
Breakdown: Tell is a rangy athlete with great field vision, which I can only assume holds up on the court. He’s a ballhawk, so we’ll press when he’s on the court.